Kimberly Carol

Week 4

2012-01-29T22:19:00.000-06:00

It occurred to me today that I have forgotten to update on my progress. As you can see by the ticker to the right, it's a whopping 3lbs! But 3 is 3, right?

Well, here is how the past 3 weeks went...

Week 1:
This week was spent packing and getting ready for a road trip! I have to say I chose a poor time to start this new life. You see, we were going to GA to see my mom's family. My sweet grandfather was having a birthday. Not just any birthday but celebration of 90 years of history!! WOW, my grandpa turned 90 this year!! I still can't believe it! Let's just say week 1 wasn't my best foot forward...

Week 2:
This week went a lot better. Even though I did not join the gym as I said I would. I did start eating better. I told myself that I wanted to wait on my mom to start working out in a gym. It didn't seem like she would ever be ready. She wanted a partner and I was ready to be that person for her. We were a team. But it never happened...

Week 3:
This week I decided that taking my lunch would be my challenge. I picked up some low sodium healthy lunchable things and I was ready to go. This week the toddlers I worked with were extra hyper and I blame the cloudy-rainy days! There were several times this week that I took time out for our normal schedule and taught them a little yoga. They LOVED it! Not only was it a very miniscule workout for me but I was teaching them that it is ok to take a mental time out and stretch. On Friday they were, yet again, CRAZY! So, my co-worker/friend, Mandy and I exercised with them. This time it was slightly more strenuous. We did crunches, leg lifts, bicycle crunches, push-ups, Mandy did jumping jacks, and a little more yoga. They again LOVED it!Mandy and I got very tickled watching these 2yr old's how to do this routine!

No membership yet. Mom is still not ready...

Oh, did I forget to mention I got staph!? That's right, a really nasty case of staph! So, that has been a lot of fun.

Week 4:
That brings us to this week. After getting several comments from friends at Church, I decided to talk to my mom about all of this. I told her that I had been waiting on her and that it was ok that she wasn't ready. Mom suffers from arthritis. She is in pain a great deal of the day and gets exhausted easily. Which is why I wasn't pressing anything. Well, mom is still not ready to make that commitment yet. That is ok, it just put me behind schedule. No worries, I am signing up this week. However, it will not be with the gym I originally wanted to go to. Due to my commute everyday and the hours of that gym it would be very hard for me to work it into my schedule. I am decided to go with Anytime Fitness here in Searcy. This will be better for me and I can work out in different cities (if needed). I am excited about this start! I do not have a work out plan in writing but I am starting off slow anyway: biking, walking (bc i don't run...at least not yet), elliptical, squats, abs, and you guessed it...yoga!

I like doing yoga bc I feel calmer. With my job come a lot of stress and frustration and excitement and joy. My emotions are all over the place most days. I am hoping that if I can feel centered that my nerves and life style will reflect that.

Now for my goals for Week 4:
1) Warning! possible TMI...find a awesome sports bra!!
2) To be more sore than I have ever been! (who wishes for that..yikes!)
3) To pack my lunch everyday.

Here goes nothing!

Always!

ps i just got 14 days FREE trial for Anytime Fitness!!

My New Life!

2012-01-08T18:25:00.000-06:00

Well it's a new year and my life still seems to be on a see-saw. I have no idea what God wants in my life and I have no idea what I want to do. But I am living everyday with a purpose. This year is going to be a year of active change. And part of my new years resolution to myself is that these changes will be made as public as possible. One thing I am going to try is being more vocal about what I need/want. I can't be bitter about life if life doesn't even know what I want. That's not fair to me or to life. (life = anything/anyone you can think of: work, ppl, friends, God, family) So here is goes entry 1 of my new year/new changes/new LIFE!

Goals for 2012:
1) read (bible, hp, help, kisses from katie)
2) lose weight
3) learn to forgive
4) learn to love like Christ
5) find me in this lost life of mine
6) try new things
7) have an awesome birthday (i know. i know. lame.)
8) pray first, act second, speak third (usually I do those things in reverse order)
9) do what I say
10) volunteer

You may be thinking "wow, aren't those everybody's goals." I would then say to you "probably." But these are things that most people say and don't do. Like I previously said, I will actively being working on these goals. I have plan for almost everything on my list. I am tomorrow taking my mom and we are signing up for a gym membership at Contours Express Women's gym. I plan on working out as much as I can. And with the help of people at the gym and my supportive family I am hoping to lose as much weight as I can.

In my head I don't look like the world sees me. I look like a petite 25 year old. Every time I pass a mirror I am reminded of the truth. Every time I go with my girlfriends shopping I am reminded that I am not this girl I see myself as. In the year of 2012 I am changing that. I am determined to become the girl I see. The girl that isn't afraid to do things. A daring, passionate for life, happy, healthy, adventurous girl! I can and will be that girl. I plan on shocking myself and others! As of a couple minutes ago, I roped my friend Erica into hiking pinnacle mountain with me. I want to do this periodically over the next year to watch the difference in my body. I am so completely excited about this journey I am about to go on. I am going to be keeping a weight loss tracker so I can be honest with myself and others. I will be posting it on here hopefully every week or at least every other week. Starting with today!! Prayers/encouragement/support is not ONLY welcomed but needed. I am not doing this for others; I am doing it for myself! And, also, to glorify God!

This will be hard and at times no fun at all. I am prepared. In those times prayers will be need more than ever! Here we go! I can do this! I can!!

Ok this next part is revealing AND embarrassing...please, in all seriousness, DO NOT JUDGE!

Starting Stats (Jan 8, 2012):
Height:5'3"
weight: 254 lbs
bra: 42g
waist: 41 inches
hips: 53 inches
thighs: 30 inches
arms: 15 inches
jean size: 22
shirt size: xlg-2xl

Ideal Stats:
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 135 lbs
Bra: I will take anything smaller!! :D

As you can see that means I need to lose a significant amount of weight! I can...I will...Just watch me!!! Wish me luck!!

always!!

Answered Prayers and Big Changes!

2011-08-05T14:14:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a while. My apologies. I haven't been posting not due to lack of information or not having things to say. Let's face it, I could talk about anything to almost anyone. I wanted my next post to be an information post. To inform everyone about my next steps for my future.

So let's go back a little bit and fill in the gaps. 4 weeks ago I told everyone that I would be moving back to Searcy, that I needed a job, and asked for prayers about my Africa trip. I am happy to say that I am now in Searcy, I have a job (more on that later), and I am still asking for prayers!

My family went to Nashville last weekend and graciously helped me pack and load up all of my stuff. I took about 6 hours total to pack, load, and clean the apartment. That may seem like a long time BUT I didnt have ANYTHING packed. Considering that, we had a baby in the apartment, my family didn't get in until midnight, I think we did pretty good. We met up with my good friend Danielle and her family for lunch at our favorite restaurant. We took my family and her parents to a little place we like to call Knock-Out Wings. The BEST ghetto restaurant ever!!! The Rope-a-dope Biscuits were perfect...as always. After our fabulous lunch we headed back to Searcy. Since being home I have gone through ALL my clothes and I am getting rid of a lot of them. I have spent a lot of time with one best friends, Brian. I have played with my sweet Hunter and had a fabulous afternoon with Mckenna. I had a hilarious evening getting together with my old youth group!!! And I am excited about going to PLEASANT VALLEY on Sunday to see the worlds GREATEST teens!!!! All in All it's been a good first week home.

As for my job. I want to thank everyone for their prayers. Boy were they answered. I actually was offered 2 different jobs. I had to weigh the pro's and con's to see which would be a better fit for me right now. As I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do, the kind of job I wanted, or even how many jobs I wanted 2 feel into my lap. 1 was the perfect teaching job. I was asked to be a teacher at the preschool that I attended when I was young. The other job is a traveling job. It will take me over the USA to work with chain stores. SURPRISE! I took the second of the jobs. I am very excited to be taking a break from preschool and searching out something that I may really enjoy. I have never done anything other that working with children and I can't wait to see where God takes me. This will be a great way to knock off more states on my race to get to every state before I die!! :) Luckily, I won't be at this job alone. My best friend Erica Wade will be doing it as well. Hopefully we will get placed together and will be able to travel together. This will be a great way for me to raise money, see the states, and experience traveling alone. God gave me two jobs. And I chose the one that will allow me to glorify Him in different states round the country! I am so bless!

As for Africa donations have started coming in and I am so excited!!!! Still working on getting letters written and everything set up to take the rest of the donations but God has provided a way so far and I can NOT wait to see what happens next!!

Always!

When One Door Closes...

2011-07-01T20:27:00.000-05:00

This morning it was decided when I would be returning back to Searcy after spending 14mnths away. It's official I will be moving home July 31st. That gives be just a few short weeks to enjoy this beautiful city that God graciously allowed me to live in. I have loved my time away from Searcy. But it's time for me to go home, love on my niece, and work in the town I LOVED growing up in. God may be leading me to close the door on my time in Nashville, but He is opening the door to a world of possibility.

For all of you who are wondering what I will be doing in Searcy...I am wondering that too! I am searching for some pre-k teaching jobs. If anyone knows of any PLEASE let me know! I have a few options but I am needing more.

As for my trip to Africa in 2013...still can't believe it...I am going to do lots of fundraiser type things. Babies for Babies (babysitting deal), garage sales, letters, and so much more. If you have any kinds of ideas for me please give them. I appreciate all the help I can get! Please keep me in your prayers as well for this new adventure. God is going to lead me to do some amazing things and I want to live a life that shows His power. I am so excited to let go and follow.

Lead me. Teach me. Show me the way I should be.

Always!

God ALWAYS knows BEST!

2011-06-21T20:59:00.000-05:00

I know! I have disappeared for awhile. Sorry about that. Shortly, after my last post I had a small breakdown. And by small I mean life changing. :/ I talked to my parents for awhile about school, my goals, my passions, and my future. While talking and listening to them and working through the tears I made a decision not to continue the path to school. What I thought was going smoothly was only a disguised bumpy road. :( In making this decision I was faced with an even harder decision. What do I do now?

This took me about a week of prayer, meditation, long talks with friends, and research to figure out exactly what I want to do. While talking with my friend Amy is when it really became clear what I wanted to do. All Amy did was ask me a simple question. And my life changed. If money wasn't a factor, what would you do right now? It took me about 5 seconds to respond. My heart stopped and I knew. I would be working in an orphanage somewhere. Plain. Simple. Complete.

About 1.5 years ago I had found a Christian Non-Profit org called Empower-a-Child. They work with orphans, schools, and more in Uganda, Africa. They share with kids the message and work with them in areas of mental and (more importantly) spiritual education. I went through the application process and I was chosen/accepted to be apart of the mission support team. Dec of '09 put a dent in my trip planning. I got sick and was having tests done and it ended with me having to have surgery. With all of that happening I had to put my trip of pause. To be honest, after all of that, I lost myself a bit and got swept up in life. As you know I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do in this coming August.

WELL....drum roll please...I AM GOING TO BE GOING TO UGANDA in 2013....for 1 YEAR!!! ahhh...are you kidding me? really? me? I am going to serve the children of Uganda and serve the Lord my Savior in the truest form of worship! I could NOT be more excited! I talked to EAC and I am on board to go. In the next 1.5 years I am going to working in Searcy (when I find a job) and raising money. It's going to be a lot of money but it will be so worth it. I am ready to be changed, to grow, to learn and to serve.

This blog is going to be a little bit of this and little of that but mainly is going to be about my journey on the narrow path. I am going to be keeping everyone updated on the adventure of a life time. I am so extremely blessed to have the opportunity to be in this position. God ALWAYS knows BEST!

Always!

Starting School

2011-06-01T13:15:00.001-05:00

First, I would like you to know that I typed out this post and then it deleted it.

Second, I am not happy about it. :(

As you know my one of my plans for my 25th year of life is to get a 2nd degree. This is turning out to be a more difficult road than I planned. It was suppose to be pretty simple. Maybe a hiccup here or there. Not a speed mountain (if you live in Searcy you know what I mean by speed mountain)! I did everything I was suppose to.

Filled out my readmit form!
Talked with Registrars!
Filled out FASFA

This is where it gets sticky. The 3 things mentioned above were the starting of the speed mountain. Almost to the top. I can see the peak!

Next task find and advisor so that I can sign up for the ONE class I need of the summer. I emailed my prospective advisor about 2 weeks ago. NEVER heard from her. In the email I explained my situation. Everything that I thought she might need to know in order to help me out. Well since I hadn't heard from her I sent her another email this past monday. And what do you know I heard back rather quickly. I left out all the information for the first email, assuming she had gotten it and already read it. I was wrong. I confused that poor lady. I then had to write her this HUGE email explaining everything I told her in the first email and then some! It took a very long time. So now I am hoping that she gets it figured out in her mind and lets me sign up for this class that starts..uh..MONDAY! I am staying pretty calm about this whole thing. But I am starting to get nervous. I don't want to start off my journey already being behind. It just doesn't look good or feel good for that matter.

Please Pray everything gets figured out very very soon! I still need to sign up for the class. And get the books for it. eek!! Not looking in my favor at the moment! I have hope and I know that God's plan is the best plan!

Always!

Plans are coming together!

2011-05-31T12:03:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a weekend!

Friday: I worked all day and then I sorta helped a friend of mine move into her new mold free beautiful home! I really didn't do much just kind of kept her company while she worked!

Saturday: I slept in a bit and then I immediately got up and cleaned out my car!!! Go me! It was much needed and I feel better now that I don't look like I am living out of my car. I give it a week maybe two before it looks like that again! By the time I got finished with that I had time to get in the shower and get ready for my mom, sister and niece to get there. When they arrived they instantly said "what is all that noise?" Silly mom and sister. Didn't you know this is the year of cicadas! They were in disbelief that there were that many and that they were that loud! They thought it was their cd that they were listening to in the car! hahaha That evening, after Lucy had some good tummy time and stretch, Dani came over and we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner! YUM!!! I got pancakes! I love love love their pancakes! After dinner we just came home to relax a bit before mom crashed! They were only passing through on their way to Grandma's house!

Sunday: We all got up and went to Church. I am pretty sure I have NEVER seen my mom wear jeans to Sunday morning services. I was in shock that she would do that. After church we grabbed a hot-n-ready pizza and went home. They had to get on the road. They still had about 8hrs to go before reaching G-ma's house. After they left I changed and headed over to Dani's to "help" her move some more. Again, I didn't do much. Most of the stuff she has left is decorating and I can't really help with that part. When deciding what to eat that night I was really really wanting a rope-a-dope biscuit! DELICIOUS! So Dani and I were going to head to Knock-Out Wings. When we get there, much to our dismay, they were CLOSED!! Really? Closed! Ugg! I was so disappointed that I was not going to get one of the most amazing biscuits! :( So what did we do? Well, what any 25 and 26 year would do. We ordered pizza! hahaha But it was the same kind of pizza we got for my birthday! Jet's Pizza: chicken parmesan and a regular cheese! YUM YUM YUM! It was so very yummy in my tummy! After dinner I went home to bed, knowing I would get to sleep in again!! :) (best feeling ever)

Monday: Happy Memorial Day everyone! I spent most of the day watching an NCIS marathon! Then I decided that I wanted a pedicure. I researched some places and found a really good deal on a mani and a pedi! WOOT go me! I, like always, made everyone in the salon laugh bc my feet are so ticklish that I squirm and giggle the whole time! But I didn't care. My toes look awesome! My fingers on the other hand didn't turn out so well. He was very rough with my fingers and it hurt more than it felt relaxing. :( Oh well! I have purple toes and purple fingers! I guess that is what I get for going to a cheap place. I still can't find a place I life better than Tip Top Nails in Searcy, AR! If you are from Searcy or in the Searcy area looking for a great place to get you nails done go to Tip Top. It is right beside Bath and Body Works! It's worth every penny! After getting semi pampered I joined Erica and Avery at a cookout with her family! I had a blast! I made me miss memorial day with my family at the lake. Grilling, laughing, swimming, boating (sometimes), games! I miss my family so much! I can't wait to see them in 2.5 weeks! After I left there I just came home to relax and enjoy the quiet. I finished my awesome 3 day weekend by filling out my FASFA. Gross! I am glad it's done and now I just need to get an advisor so that I can get signed up for the classes I need.

Not much more to say about my amazing and relaxing weekend!

Always!

3 Day Weekend!

2011-05-27T14:30:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to have a 3 day weekend! Weekends are the best. Time for relaxing, friends, fun and movies! Or in my case, this weekend will be filled with cleaning and packing. I am taking this opportunity to clean out my car and wash it inside and out! Then I am going to get a head start of packing to move home in August. My mom, sister and sweet niece will be here tomorrow afternoon sometime as they pass through to go spend the week with my precious grandma! I need to get some stuff packed and settled so that I know what to get rid of and what to keep. When they come back through next Friday they will be taking some stuff home. I have a feeling I am going to be getting rid of a lot.

In a lot of ways I am like my mother. I go through my closets and get rid of stuff pretty frequently. There is some things that I wish I wouldn't have given away. And other times I look and think 'why would I keep that'. It's funny the things we keep and the things we get rid of!

My mom would say I am more like my dad and can't ever get rid of anything! I have keepsakes from when I was in elementary school. I still have some high school notebooks full of lecture notes. Up until recently, I had all of the secret notes that we passed in school. I have every yearbook from k-12 and then the ones from college. I found some earrings from when I was little, the other day. You name it I probably still have it!

I am not sure why it's so easy to get rid of clothes and not the broken belt that I wore in Jr High. (I am sure it was significant at some point) I refuse to become a pack rat or a hoarder. I am doing a cleansing of earthly things. I want to keep only the things I need. I don't need/wear 20 pairs of shoes so I am going to get rid of them. I don't need a lot of things that I currently possess. This weekend should be fun...

Also, I am helping my friends Danielle, Amy and Brad move in to their new place in Germantown! YAY! I am so glad they will be moving out of their flooded, molding house and into a beautiful new grey...I mean blue...house! So very excited for them!!!

Always!

Worried

2011-05-26T12:39:00.000-05:00

For some reason today has been a day of worry. I feel overwhelmed with the feeling of worry. I am worried about going back to school, about the tornadoes that are getting close to my childhood home, about my friends that are far away from me (in the states and in other countries). I just have this nervous pit in my stomach that something about is about to happen! I don't know what is going to happen or if anything even will. But something is telling me to pray fervently for my friends and family today. I must say this feeling is making my stomach turn into knots!

Please everyone be safe today!

To my friends getting hit with the storms: take shelter! To my friends in different states: be safe in whatever you are doing today! To my friends starting their journey to Nicaragua today: have fun and be blessed! To my friends in Africa and Scotland: Please come home safe and with amazing stories of how God changed your life through His work!

The only thing that seems to help me today is remembering the verses from Matthew about not worrying about what will happen tomorrow. For God knows what we need and will provide as he does for the birds of the air and the beast of the field! (paraphrased)

My prayer is for all my friends and family! I love you all very dearly! Come home to me safe! :)

Always!

So now what?

2011-05-25T12:32:00.001-05:00

I am now 25. My birthday has come and gone. :( I got tons of amazing facebook messages, some texts and some wonderful phone calls. One of which came from AFRICA! Thanks Brian! I can now officially say that I have received birthday calls from 3 different continents!! WOOT! Maybe I will get one from all of them! That would be a cool fun fact! My Parents sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers!

I had a surprise waiting for me when I got to my friend's house last night! My friends Danielle and Amy had a giant card and a birthday day banner up for me. Best of all Danielle made me my FAVORITE pie ever!! Peanut Butter Pie!

Just look at it! YUMMY! She did a great job with it!! I loved every bite of that very rich delicious dessert!! Thanks Dani for all your hard work!! And Thanks Amy for bring the most delicious Jetts Pizza I have had yet!! They truly made my birthday great!

One of the phone calls I received was from my mom and dad and sister! We have a family traditions of singing the most heinous birthday song you have ever heard! While in the middle of the amazing vocal talents of my family, my mother started laughing. She went on to explain that Lucy, my adorable 5 1/2 month old niece, didn't like the singing and started crying during my birthday song. Well because she was crying my brother's dog, Bella, started to lick the bottom of Lucy's feet because she doesn't like when Lucy cries! Then I hear in the back ground my sister's dog, Luna, howling and barking because of all the racquet going on! Whew! I am so glad I was there in person for that craziness!

I ended my birthday night by watching Glee! I love Glee! OH I forgot to say that OLIVIA won The Biggest Loser challenge! She lost 129 lbs or 53%!!! crazy! She looked so good!!! I am very glad she won! And also my favorite team on Dancing with the Stars won, Hynes and Kym!! Yay!! All my favorites won! That right there is a great birthday present to me! :)

Always!

My BiRtHdAy!

2011-05-24T12:18:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday! I am officially 25 years old! AHHH! My insurance will, cross your fingers, go down a bit and I am not able to rent a car without extra insurance! Woot, Lucky me!

So far today I have received to of the best Happy Birthday songs I have ever heard! Thanks Angie and Shannon for my first one. Another big thank you to Neena for my second one and my cupcake/card! The kids I work with have been amazing today as well! And I am SO grateful for their little awesome attitudes and hugs today!

I made a decision on what to do tonight. I am going to spend time with my friends as we watch the finale of The Biggest Loser! TEAM OLIVIA! I love my friends and I would rather be with them than at a concert by myself! There will be other concerts but celebrating my 25th birthday with my friends only happens once! I am very happy with my decision and I can't wait to leave work and see them! :)

Ok on to my 25th year of life challenges:

1) To actually write in my Blog! (3 day success so far...)

2) From May 25th, 2011 to May 24th, 2012 I will not be eating anything that is considered a dessert! yikes...that's going to be hard!

3) Start and finish my 2nd degree! (already in the works)

4) Learn to Pray!

5) Go on a mission trip! (i miss these terribly)

Ok I am going revealing 5 for now. Yes there are more. Some are small and I will reveal them later on.

Awhile back I said that by the time I am 26 I will be a foster mom. I am putting this on hold for just a bit longer. I need to get some big stuff in order and make sure I can handle the financial aspects of fostering. I will be a foster mom one day just not in the next year. It's so important to me to take care of the orphans and the children who need cared for that I will NOT let it slip and one day before I am 30 I will be a foster mom! :)

Always!

25th birthday eve

2011-05-23T12:42:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday eve! In a little less that 12hrs from now I will 25 years old! How crazy! I can still remember being in elementary and playing outside with my friends, spending my summers with my grandparents, playing softball, and going to camp. It seem nuts to think that I am now old to rent a CAR! I don't know what is in store for me tomorrow but I am hoping for a good day and work and for Olivia to win on the Biggest Loser.

I have a small dilemma there is a concert of some of my favorite christian artist tomorrow and I would like to go but have no one to go with. So do I go alone, on my birthday :(? Or do I sacrifice my wants for the greater good of being with friends watching the finally of the Biggest Loser? I honestly can't decide what I want to do. One of the people preforming I actually saw last year on my 24th birthday in Kingwood! I am thinking that could be a kind of cool tradition. Good thing I have about 24hrs to figure that out! phew I will think about that more later!

If you would like to give me some advice on what to do about tomorrow please chime in!

Have a wonderful day!

Always!

365 days

2011-05-22T22:28:00.000-05:00

In the past year: (5-24-10 to 5-24-11)

I had a wonderful summer serving Christ by working with Kingwood CoC in Kingwood, TX. My best friend from college, and now, started medical school. I got a job in Nashville, TN. I changed jobs in Nashville. Shortly after moving to TN I had my credit card stolen, my computer crashed, and the Blaze's engine blew up. Needless to say it was a rough start. I got a new mini laptop, my card was cancelled and I received my new one, and I bought my VERY first car! A beautiful tan 2006 Toyota Corolla, which will be paid off by the time I am 30. My sister told our family that she was pregnant and in Dec she had my perfect niece Lucina Grace DeRamus. I love her more than words can describe. I also had 3 very close friends have 3 beautiful little girls: Emma, Hunter, and Avilyn. I hurt my friend by not being able to be in her wedding. Lost touch with some of my favorite people from college and high school. Made new friends that I adore. Became apart of a Bunco group and a women's bible study with some amazing Godly women that I am learning a lot from. Walked my first 10k with one of my best friends Erica! Sent my best friend Brian off to Africa to do what he does best, serve. And finally decided to go back to school and get a second degree. [there's actually a lot more but that's enough I think ;)]

My favorite thing about this past 365 days is that I finally decided I do NOT know best. God does and he WILL take care of me! HE loves ME! I am HIS!

Stay tuned for more :)

Lord, if I am to go, let me and lead me.

2010-04-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

I am not one to jump all of the chance of change. Most of the time it scares me. I get sentimental and filled with worry. What if things don't go according to plan? What if this change is taking me away from what I really want to be doing? What will happen to my relationships if everything changes? Will I enjoy this? When really I should be saying: Lord, if I am to go, let me and lead me. There are so many changes that are about to happen in my life. I looked on Webster's Dictionary for the definition of Change and it told me this...a : to make different in some particular : alter b : to make radically different :transform c : to give a different position, course, or direction to. Whether my plan works out and I am blessed to find a job in Nashville, TN or if I am to move back home after the summer change has to happen.

I was thinking the other night about how my life would be different if I were to move away from Searcy and go to an actual city. I have always wanted to be a part of helping people that need the help the most. I love missions of all kinds. I decided that where ever God leads me that will be my mission. In preparation to me making this life altering move to becoming a "big girl" I went online and looked up different ways I can get involved in the different cities I may move to. Most specific Nashville, Tn. I don't see the point in sitting around when I could be doing things that impact others. My dream is to become the change I want to see. I looked up different volunteer opportunities in the area. Let me be the first to say, there are A LOT. I like to be a girl of action, not just a girl of talk. My promise to myself and to God is that where ever I move I will become involved in making a difference.

I am asking for prayers. Pray that I get the job I am interviewing for. Pray that money isn't going to be an issue I have to fight when I move. Pray that I can stand on my own two feet and not just ride the coat of my parents. Pray that I love where I live and loneliness doesn't over take me. Pray that God uses me in ways that I can't comprehend right now. Pray that I listen to Him when He speaks to me. Pray.

Smile...

2010-04-02T23:47:00.000-05:00

There are so many things for me to smile about these days. This is one of my favorite times of year. I pride myself on not having the traditional favorite holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving. You don't find a lot of people with there most beloved holiday being Easter. But Easter and the 4th of July are my all time favorite holidays. Easter weekend is the only weekend on the entire year that my extended family comes to my house to stay. Being that my family is almost all Harding Grads or at least Harding related it's a great time for them to see old friends and spend some time on "my turf." Flowers are in bloom and baby (if you know me at all you know I LOVE baby anything) animals are being born and its just a wonderful time of year to be outside and in the warm but cool sunshine. The chaco tans begin, along with awesome farmers tans if you're not careful.

One of the best parts about Easter is Harding campus. Spring Sing is keeping everyone busy. And families wait with anxiety of watching their sons and daughters dance...I mean choreograph...on the big Benson stage. All the Harding singing groups do their very best to entertain the masses. My favorite being The Good News singers. The drama performances are well underway. New Harding prospects get to see Harding students dressed in crazy costumes with crazy face paint and hair.

I was very blessed to have some of the best roommates anyone could ask for. I was lucky enough freshmen year to be on a hall with some of the most amazing girls I have ever known. who later became some of my very best friends. Erica 'Seawel' Wade, Christa 'Swafford' Lewis, and Erica 'Henshaw' Casey will always have a very special place in my heart. Easter weekend is one of those times where we get to spend some amazing time together. These 3 girls will forever be in my life. They will be there for me when I need them and I for them. I spent the afternoon with Erica and Erica and the three of us laughed, shared stories, and caught up on each others lives. Tomorrow I get to do it all again with Erica Casey and Christa. I love these girls deeply. They bring a big SMILE on my face every time I think of them.

The only thing to smile about when this weekend ends, is knowing that it will happen again in 365 days!

Catelyn and Andrew are getting married!

2010-01-24T00:47:00.000-06:00

I met with a bride today! But not just any bride, Catelyn. She is one of my friends from high school and is getting married in March. She asked me to be her wedding coordinator about a week ago, so today we had our first meeting. I met her with one of my lifelong best friends, Mckenna, who happens to be her photographer. My afternoon was filled with wedding plans and talk of future babies! We planned everything: from walking line to exit songs to pictures! It was one of my favorite parts of today. I know that Catelyn and Andrew are going to be so happy together. They have come so far in their relationship and I, personally can't wait to see where this journey takes them. March 22, 2010 is coming up fast and I couldn't be any more excited for these two loving people!

a field of dragonflies!

2009-11-09T12:25:00.000-06:00

Have you ever sat in a field surrounded by dragonflies?

One of my favorite memories I was sitting on a trampoline with my best friend and we were talking and watching the sun go down. Right as the sky was at its pinkest and the darkness what starting to take over, the sky above us was suddenly filled with dragonflies. Typically I don't like dragonflies but this was the night I fell in love with them. There was something majestic about them that night!

The Dragonfly can mean many different things. To some it means good luck, prosperity, purity, harmony and strength. To others the dragonfly represents happiness or change. I like to think of the dragonfly as a protector of special times. A reminder that good times are still to come and changes are right around the corner and to never give up hope of the beauty within.

I will SOAR with YOU!

2009-10-11T23:19:00.000-05:00

In March of this past year I was blessed to go on a mission trip with a very unique group of people. Instead of going with a youth group, or with only college students, I went with my bible study group. It was led by the two families that lead this amazing bible study. On our way home it was kinda icky in Houston. It was gray and cloudy and rainy. In fact we had to walk outside in the rain to board our plane. As we took off Jill, one of my favorite people and one of our fearless leaders, was sitting across the isle for me. We took off and as you can imagine it was a little bumpy. The captain came on and said the normal routine "Welcome..blah blah blah...the flight will be smooth sailing once we break the cloud line. Thank you and enjoy your flight." And he was right. Once we broke the cloud line it was the exact opposite of what we had seen on the ground. Almost immediately Jill and I looked at each other and proceeded to sing the song Still.

"Hide me now under your wings. Cover me within your mighty hands.
When the oceans rise and thunder roars I will SOAR with you above the storm. Father, you are King over the floods. I will be still and know you are God.
Find rest my soul in Christ alone. Know his power in quietness and trust.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will SOAR with you above the storm. Father, you are King over the floods. I will be still and know you are God."

As we sang the song the sun began to set and it was one of the most powerful and beautiful sunset I had ever seen. And as Jill and I sang there was a since of peace and joy that over took me. I will never forget what that felt like. Be Still and Know that I AM GOD!

waiting is the hardest part!

2009-10-05T14:21:00.000-05:00

I would have to say that the hardest thing about any situation is the waiting. On one hand it makes you feel helpless and insecure about what is going to happen. Then on the other hand it adds a sense of excitement. Being completely dependent on someone's decisions is a extremely scary thing to me. At the moment I am waiting to see about this internship that I really would like to have. It consumes every thought that I have. Just knowing that I could be playing with babies and children is very exciting with a hint of freak out. As you all know I don't do things calmly or even tempered. I am what you may call extreme. Or as a good friend calls me extremely ridiculous. I used to think this was a bad thing. However, lately I have come to enjoy the fact that if I get excited I am really excited and if I am passionate about something I am very passionate about it. The downer that I wish wasn't a part of being extreme is the when I am sad, I am very sad and when I get upset its a big sometimes HUGE deal. I am quickly trying to change that small detail.

Anyway back to why I am writing. This is just a quick update that I am still waiting to hear about this internship. Along with waiting comes worry. I try not to be a worrier and I try to encourage myself to be stop being anxious, but being human, I fail quite a bit. I have a new theme verse for this part of the application process:

Matthew 6:25-27 (mainly verse 27)

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^a]">[a]?

I feel that God will show me what he wants me to do and that He lead me where my talents can be used. I am learning to trust him more than I ever have before. And the waiting is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

red and yellow, black and white...they are PRECIOUS.

2009-09-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

For those of you who are unaware I have decided to follow a dream of mine I have had for a long time. I have always love and adored the children around me. The earliest memories I have involve me taking care of those younger than myself. There is just something about looking in to a child's eyes that captivates my heart. It doesn't matter to me if the child is Caucasian, African American, Hispanic, or any other nationality. The point is that God loves all children. Just like the song Jesus Loves the Little Children says they are precious in his sight, they are also precious in mine.

I am currently looking in to working with orphans that need all the love that they can get. This blog is going to be a record of my journey that is leading me to depend on God for the right way I should go. To fill you in on my current standings I am in the application process with an organization in Africa. My prayer is that God will let me know if this is the place for me or if I should keep searching. With the help of my friends and family, I know that God will let me know. I know that wherever God leads I will have an awesome experience. I feel as if God has used my life to train me and prepare me for such work.

Please keep me in your prayers as I learn what it truly means for take up my mat and walk.